


Robbers can't be this hot now, can they?

by mikanagi



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Comedy, First Meetings, M/M, Minor Violence, One Shot, Romance, characters might be slightly OOC, cranky-ass!yuri, i honestly did not know what i was doing, im sorry about that, leo viktor and chris are mentioned characters, like seriously i suck at this, pathetic depiction of violence, robber!otabek, robber!otabek but not really, this came from a prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 03:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10654239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikanagi/pseuds/mikanagi
Summary: Yuri sighed. He contemplated the shitstorm that just happened a few moments ago and how he gave his number to a dude who is sexy enough to be called ‘daddy.’ Weird  ‘How I first Met Your Dad’ story but it would be really fun to listen to it. Oh god, did Yuri Plisetsky just thought about how he fucking wanted Otabek’s children?





	Robbers can't be this hot now, can they?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> It's been a long time since I wrote a fanfic and this is my first fanfic here at Ao3. I would like to thank my seriously awesome friend [oneforfall](http://archiveofourown.org/users/oneforfall/pseuds/oneforfall) who betaread for me, and also the one who encouraged me to post this fic.

It was a jaded 3 am on a Saturday when Yuri Plisetsky was jolted awake by a crashing sound. Oh shit, Yuri was being motherfucking robbed in what he thought was the safe space that is his apartment. Well fuck, the only thing he can think of now was to get the baseball bat from his closet and his phone from the nightstand beside his bed and hope that the robber didn’t have any fucking gun with them.

 

Yuri tried to carefully and quietly open his bedroom door. But the goddess of luck wasn’t on his side, because the door squeaked loud enough for the robber to notice his presence. And all hell broke loose.

 

Yuri let out a bloody scream as he ran towards the robber and swung at him. The robber dodged the bat. 

 

“Dude, WHAT THE FUCK?!” the robber exclaimed, as he dodged another swing.

 

“I SHOULD BE THE ONE ASKING YOU THAT QUESTION, YOU DIPSHIT!” Yuri shouted as he swung at the robber.

 

“Okay okay stop swinging,” the Robber said. Yuri didn’t stop swinging. He swung the bat one last time, the robber yelped in pain, and then Yuri heard something drop.

 

“I KNOW YOU FUCKING ASKED THIS THE FIRST TIME BUT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” Yuri screamed. The Robber said nothing because the said Robber was distracted in cradling his hand from the previous swing.

 

“FUCKING ANSWER ME, YOU DUMBASS FUCKWIT!” yelled Yuri. Yuri’s yelling seemed to snap the Robber out of his befuddlement.

 

“If it isn’t so obvious I was robbing you? And it’s not ‘Dumbass Fuckwit’ my name is Otabek,” answered the Robber.

 

“Okay, Otabek. There is a fucking light switch beside the door, turn the light on or I’m gonna start swinging again,” Yuri threatened.

 

“Turning it on now, just don’t swing wildly, think you kinda broke my finger.”

 

“Good.”

Otabek turned on the light switch and the dimly lit room then became illuminated and when Yuri saw the Robber, he shamelessly gaped at him. What the actual fuck because robbers can’t be that good looking and downright hot now, can they?

 

At this point, Yuri dropped his stance and just shamelessly gaped. Yuri didn’t notice Otabek doing the same thing though. Yuri snapped out of his daze and was finally reminded that the extremely sexy robber Otabek is  (making Yuri extremely thirsty) actually trying to fucking steal from him. Okay this Hot Robber Otabek clearly doesn’t see that Yuri is a broke-ass college student. Will Yuri let him rob him of all his shit? OH FUCK NO! That is why Yuri resumed his defensive stance, raising his baseball bat like a batter would. And Yuri also scowled because no matter how fucking hot this guy is, he has no fucking right rob Yuri.

 

On the other hand, Otabek didn’t know whether he was horny or scared. He is still nursing his possibly broken or sprained finger and was still staring at Yuri like he fell from heaven and became a hot demon.

 

“Okay, I’m kind of calm now,” Yuri said with a scowl still gripping his baseball bat tightly. “You better tell me why are you robbing my fucking apartment and depending on your answer I may or may not hit and call the police,” Yuri continued.

 

Yuri’s statement seemed to snap the dazed Otabek. A pinkish tint appeared on Otabek’s face as he tried to look at Yuri directly in the eyes. he took a deep breath to calm his wildly beating heart.

 

“I live down the hall and me and my friends were drinking and...umm... they dared me to steal any item from your apartment. I told them this was a bad idea,” Otabek said trying and failing to look at Yuri directly in the eyes due to fear and horniness.

 

“They did give me a choice it was either this or lap dance from Chris and yes I would rather steal something from my hot neighbor than get a lap dance because If I get a lap dance from Chris I’m gonna need to shower 20 times a day for 20 years,” Otabek continued.

 

“Wait,” Yuri said with a look of surprise. “Chris? Chris as in Christophe Giacometti?” Yuri asked, raising an eyebrow and putting down the baseball bat and standing up more properly

 

“Yes,” Otabek replied

 

“Who were you drinking with? State their full names,” Yuri demanded, walking towards the sofa and he proceeded to sit at the left end. He gestured for Otabek to sit on the sofa beside him. 

 

“Leo de la Iglesia, Viktor Nikiforov, and Christophe Giacometti,” Otabek replied as he sat on the right end of the sofa.

 

“Oh my god. Leo is decent he wouldn’t make you do this. Nikiforov and Giacometti are most likely the idiots who dared you.”

 

“H-How do you know those three?”

 

“I have a class with Leo, Viktor is family friend, and Chris is always there whenever I hangout with Viktor. Though, I can only handle Chris in small doses. So,” a faint blush creeps up Yuri’s  face when he looked at Otabek. “How do you know them?” Yuri continued.

 

“They’re my coworkers at my part time job and I have a class with Leo.”

 

“Huh. Who would’ve thought that we go to the same university.”

 

The silence in the room was awkward. Yuri got up from his seat and went inside his room. “Wait here,” Yuri told Otabek. Otabek waited in Yuri’s living room awkwardly sitting there.

 

After about 3 minutes, Yuri emerged from his room. Yuri was holding a leopard printed boxer shorts and he handed it to Otabek. Otabek raised an eyebrow at the item.

 

“Tell this to those idiots,” Yuri said with a wicked grin. Yuri then proceeded to whisper something. The thing that Yuri whispered to Otabek made Otabek blush. Yuri handed a piece of paper to him and gave Otabek a kiss on the cheek.

 

“You do know I tried to rob you right?”

 

“Yeah and I know you’re not a bad guy and this whole thing are those 3 idiots’ fault plus you’re cute so it’s forgiven,” Yuri grinned.

 

“Go now,” Yuri said. “And call me when you get the chance”

Otabek nodded.

 

“Otabek, wait I have to ask, how did you get in here?”

 

“I used a fork.”

 

“How?”

 

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out,” Otabek gave Yuri a small smile.

 

“Okay, you better call me and tell those guys what I told you,” Yuri gave a small pout.

 

“Yeah I will,” Otabek opened the door. “I’ll see you.”

 

Yuri sighed. He contemplated the shitstorm that just happened a few moments ago and how he gave his number to a dude who is sexy enough to be called ‘daddy.’ Weird  ‘How I first Met Your Dad’ story but it would be really fun to listen to it. Oh god, did Yuri Plisetsky just thought about how he fucking wanted Otabek’s children?

 

Yup, he wanted Otabek’s children. What now? Well, all that’s left is to wait for Otabek to call him and ask him out.

 

A few minutes later Yuri heard a scream, he cackled and went back to bed.

 

The next day, he got a text from Otabek saying: 

 

**“Hey it’s Otabek, the guy who broke into your apartment, I was wondering if you want to go out for some coffee? My treat. Also you can get your boxers back once we get home from coffee.”**

 

Yuri replied:

**“Looking forward to it.”**

 

Yuri guessed he could begrudgingly thank Viktor and Chris for his maybe future husband.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it please feel free to leave a kudos and a comment.


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